Sticks and Stones

Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.  Has their ever been a more untrue statement?  Words are likely to make lasting  bruises; ones that have a hard time healing and might even get bigger and blacker  as time passes instead of fading away.

I love words.  I like crafting them, playing games with them, arranging them in a sentence, and using a good supply of them daily.  I try to use my power for good….I really do.  I know what words can do and I’ve experienced  how my words can build someone up.  I’ve seen eyes brighten and  lifted and smiles broaden as I pass along a compliment or take notice of some exceptional quality in someone else.  I’ve seen a step quicken and become lighter from offering a sincere word of praise.

But, my gift comes with a dark side.  I have seen my words bruise the ego of my husband and children.  I’ve seen them wince, as if in pain, as my words splatter on them like a blow to the head.  I know what words can do.  Sticks and stones can break my bones….and words can torture a mind for a lifetime. I still remember the time in high school when a great friend betrayed me with her words.  I remember in 6^th grade when another classmate told me she no longer wanted me around.  I have long since forgiven the offences, but the bruises still hurt.  I also, sadly remember times when my own words were like bullets to people I love and care about.  Oh to have sucked them back in my mouth!!  But, once said, they are there.  They hang there like a lead balloon. 

For most of us, words are tools that bring happiness.  “I love you”.  “You are so important to me”. “Your opinion matters to me”. “I want to spend time with you”.  These are phrases that are communicated to us…both with words and actions.  Sometimes the communication may have a break down, but we quickly repair  it and we go on with our healthy, love -filled relationships. Thousands of loving words are said to me, about me, and from me each day.  Wow.  How uplifting is that? My tank is full.  I’m even full enough that I might even have extra every now and then.

I can’t help but think about the child that has experienced words in a different way than I have.  Maybe they have been pelted far too often with “you are worthless”  or “you are good for nothing”.  Over the years, my slip ups with my words have hurt.  I’m sure people in my life have had to work through the occasional harsh word I’ve unleashed.  But, a child who continually hears the cruelest of messages spoken by people that are supposed to love and support them…..well, it would be hard to endure.

Many children in the foster system have had their fill of bad words.  I’m not talking about cursing, although that can sometimes be true as well.  I’m talking about a steady diet of “you’re not good enough”.  A child removed from their home feels like the world has actually stamped that on their foreheads; a scarlet letter pinned to their chests.

Children need someone to tell them they are good enough. They need that reinforcement, as we all do, that they are okay….that they are indeed worthy and important.  Words make a difference.  I bet you can even recall a teacher or other adult in your childhood who singled you out for doing a good job.  Oh how elated you were to receive that praise!  On the other hand, we can all probably recall the sting of words or phrases that made us feel less than.  Stupid even.

Words are powerful.  They can rage as strong as the fiercest wind or they can softly cool you like a gentle breeze.  They can make your hair stand on end or they can quietly lull you to sleep.  They can tear your stomach to shreds or make you dance with happiness.

Oh to use our power for good!  To put on the superhero cape of conversation!  To soar in the realm of considerate and to rescue the downward head with kindness!  Please, use them wisely.  Bless those around you with your power.  When you do, then my friends, you truly are a superhero. 

Every wound healed.  Every child, a home.