The smell of tradition.The aroma of family.
The chatter of the familiar.
Perhaps this is so common at your house, you hardly give it a thought. But, if you have children in your home who have come from hard places, they likely will take notice.
Sometimes we take for granted the wonderful smells, experiences, and love that is poured out on Thanksgiving, Christmas, or other traditional holidays.
Aunt Betty always brings her sweet potato casserole.
I always bake the ham.
The kids get the table ready.
Everyone has a part to play and each year, it is played out in a wonderfully familiar way. It is like the comfiest of sweaters. The creamiest of hot chocolates. The steamiest of good, rich coffee.
It's comfort.
Whether we realize it or not, traditions make up much of our family experience. Perhaps you have a meal each week where most of your family gathers around to eat together. Maybe you all do a yearly trek to the movie theater for the latest Star Wars movie. Whatever they may be, we might tend to take them for granted or barely notice them....just living and existing in these glorious rituals that make up our life.
Kids from hard places often are fascinated by our traditions. Much of the comfort that traditions offer might have been left out of their early years and whether they admit it or not, predictable feels pretty good. In my experience, our kids loved family so much, they were anxious to make any new experience a tradition. I began noticing on year two that they were asking for the things that were done in year one. "When are we going to have everyone over like we did last year?" Assumptions were made, even if it was a first time event, that we would do the same thing again the next year. I realized it was providing them predictable, fun, family experiences and we were happy to add a few more to our list.
The yearly trek to IHOP because that was the first restaurant we went to together.
The birthday fire pit parties because "my friends love to do that each year."
The making of the empanadas....a real treat that our kids brought us coming from a Mexican heritage.
The dishes that each child "specializes" in...like Hayley and her pineapple casserole, or Lucas and his amazing mashed potatoes, Aleisha and her decadent coconut cream pie.
Before you know it, our newest family members are an integral part of the tradition. Their contributions are noticed and appreciated and their membership into the family circle is sealed.
"We simply cannot have the dinner without your fruit salad!!"
"The way you cut up those potatoes is so much better than anyone has done it in the past. Whew, I'm glad you are here to take over that job."
"Listening to you read that passage is so meaningful. I'm glad you are here to do it each year."
Belonging.
If we are honest with ourselves, we all yearn for it. If we move to a new place, we are truly not content until we have found the places...church, school, neighborhoods, where we belong.
As you set out the good plates for Thanksgiving.
As you rake the yard for the annual "turkey bowl" football game that everyone participates in.
As you get out the 1,000 piece puzzle.
As you make your sandwich with the leftover turkey and sit down to watch the Cowboys.
Appreciate that you belong. Take in the familiar and relish in this moment of tradition.
Oh, and brag on the amazing after dinner play that your new family members have created. What a wonderful thing to see repeated for next year!
Belonging...the most important ingredient at any Thanksgiving meal.
Every wound healed. Every child, a home.
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