Unmasked

Photo by John Noonan on Unsplash

It is our tendency as humans to present what is our "best" side.  Social media has not helped with that. We trash any picture that shows us in an unflattering way. We use filters that add makeup or slim down the face. We can change the light so that it softens the wrinkles. We can honestly filter everything so much that we are barely recognizable.

It seems we all want to appear better than we really are.

But, doesn't that just wear you out?  Aren't you tired of pretending and having to keep up the facade?

I know I am.

Life would be easier if we just simply offered acceptance of each other and along with that...our individual flaws. All of us have flaws. We are all masking something that we think is less than flattering.
Acceptance doesn't mean that we quit urging each other to greater works, healthier living, and flattering attire. What it does say is that we be honest about ourselves. If we are struggling, we say so. If we have gained a few pounds, eh, we don't try to hide behind someone else in the picture.
It is real.
It is honest.
And at times ... a bit raw.

There is truly nothing I have been through in my life that has  revealed more of the true me than becoming a foster/adoptive parent.  I have had to grovel through some painful moments and have had to peer way too deep into my hidden side. You know what I'm talking about...the side that very few see.  The "I'm tired and everyone needs to stay out of my way," side. The side that wants to make it more about me and my needs than the needs of those around me. The side that frankly, I would rather hide. But, stress seems to lead the way to exposure. My crazy begins to become untucked. The darkness sometimes comes into the light...whether you want it to or not.

Ugly.
Impatient.
Dare I say it?
Unloving even.

I value  kindness so much. I love to respond with a cheerful tone and a genuine smile. I want to answer "yes" to as many questions as I can. But, if I'm taking off the mask, then I must confess, I struggle. The real me is sometimes not the image that I want the world to see.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I lost my hair and while it hurt to see myself bald, I was surprised that it didn't bother me more. At home, I went around with nothing covering my naked head.  Everything was uncomfortable. At home, I got to be me and my family loved me just like I was. But, when I went out...well then, I covered it up. I couldn't manage a wig so I wore hats that tried to disguise who I really was at the time.

I think in some ways, that describes our very soul. I'm in pain, hot as fire, and in distress, but let me put on this hat so that you will feel better about me. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable so I will cover up the hairless dome that is my head. It's not all bad. I mean we don't necessarily want to let the entire world in on our pain, struggles, and bad days. But, being real? I think we all need a lesson or two.

The truth is we all struggle. If this is not a period of turmoil for you, if you are feeling on top of the world and might be tempted to look down on others from your nice, high perch, then beware. Life has a way of evening out that perch. Rain falls on all of us. Perhaps the gut wrenching struggle...when we are so low we can barely lift our heads, perhaps it is in those moments that we are truly teachable.

Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

We are humble enough to see others through the lens of mercy.

We can allow others to shed their bothersome masks and reveal to us their true selves.

We can love those who might be, at the moment, unlovable.

We were all there at one time or another. Unlovable that is.

I dare say that true love,  is loving especially those that are acting unloving.

Nothing bonds people together more than to be loved fully...while at your worst.


Every wound healed. Every child, a home.