Truly a Super- MAN

Here's to all of the foster dads out there who are tirelessly giving of themselves, sharing the most precious gift they have...the gift of fatherhood. They are the true superheroes of our time...the Superman of your community, the Iron Man of your home.  They are dads, plain and simple.

Foster dads deserve such blessings poured out upon them.

Many of the kids we serve might not have experienced what it is like to have a father. Maybe for the first time, they get to play basketball in the driveway. Maybe for the first time they get to flip the steak on the gas grill. Maybe they have someone to finally teach them how to drive a car or how to get a job.  Perhaps they have never had someone to root for them as they hit a grand slam or to cheer as they sing their first solo part at church.

You know, things that most of us just take for granted.

But for a child who has missed the vital attention of a father, or received the bruises of one who was out of control, a loving father can breathe life back into a child. They can restore calm and sanity to a world gone crazy.

We see our Childhelp fathers giving of themselves every single day. Here are some ways we see them "fathering":

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• They are there to read a bedtime story to their children
• They form funny traditions like a crazy hand shake or a cool way of saying goodbye
• They sometimes take their kids to work with them and teach them life skills
• They sit beside them in church, read the Bible to them each evening, and listen as Scriptures are recited.
• They sit through piano recitals
• They have a permanent indention in hard metal seats at the ball park
• They plan fun-filled vacations
• They make impromptu trips to the store for ice cream
• They make funny faces and silly sounds
• They open the car doors for their wives and daughters and teach their boys how to treat a lady
• They watch endless Disney movies...sometimes in place of the big game
• They tell their kids that they are safe and that "Daddy is here"
• They listen as their child begins to open up



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• They pray

So many ways our dads pour into children who need them...who sometimes are desperate for them.

We appreciate you, Dads.  What you are doing in the lives of these kids does not go unnoticed. Thank you and Happy Father's Day!

Every wound healed. Every child, a home.

Not Called

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I have used the phrase "a calling" many times in reference to fostering or adoption. I mean, after all, it is a huge undertaking and God's will and leading  needs to be in place. I might have been out of place, however, to use the phrase "called".

To say that we are called to something then makes it easy to say that we are NOT called to something. So, if we are "not called" to bring children into our home, are we automatically pardoned of responsibility?  I don't think so. Here are a few points to consider:

1) Children from neglect, trauma, and abuse are a societal issue with which we all must be concerned. It is unfathomable to think of a child fending for themselves for food, care, and love. We all have to work together to take care of the most vulnerable of our society and our world. Because the US is such a developed country, we might be tempted to believe our children are fine. Oh how I wish that were true!  We can no longer take pride that our children are well cared for when so many are being abused, neglected, and starved of both food and love. Our government is spending millions of dollars to help care for our children in need. While I'm so appreciative that we have that kind of support, certainly we cannot just look the other way and let it all be handled by the government. We must look at the kids down the street as well as the children of the world and see the monumental need. The very heart of God and what He deems is "pure and undefiled religion" is to "visit orphans and widows in their trouble". While neither the word "calling" or "command" is used in this passage, we certainly get the idea that the vulnerable are on God's heart and to imitate Him is to care for those in need.


2) While not everyone is equipped to actually bring children into their home, EVERYONE can do SOMETHING. We must do away with the thought that because we "aren't called" then we have no responsibility. We do. There are any number of ways that you can help and support families who have decided to take on the tremendous task of fostering or adoption.
Check out this blog from Jason Johnson who does an amazing job of helping the church see how we can all find our place in this ministry.

http://jasonjohnsonblog.com/blog/wrapping-around-foster-and-adoptive-families

3) Forgive me for being so bold, but if you are using the phrase "I'm just not called", then what you are really saying is...I'm choosing to look the other way. I'm choosing to NOT involve myself in this messy ministry." Because if we see the Bible clearly teaching to run towards children in need, and we choose to run away, then to further use God as your excuse for not helping in some way, shape or form is negating the many, many times He has urged us to meet the needs of children. Our calling is to be obedient...to imitate and pattern our life after the heart of God. I can't help but believe that to see, welcome, and value children would be demonstrating the true character of God. Christian teacher and author, David Platt, says "Even when Jesus' disciples saw children as a nuisance to be avoided, Jesus saw them as a treasure to be welcomed, to be received, to be loved, to be cherished."

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It isn't often that I want to present something that could offend or be taken in a negative light.  If you know me, you know that I would literally do anything to keep from hurting or offending you. My sin is enjoying being liked....too much. On a personal level though, bringing in six children from hard places was  over whelming. We needed support and lots of it. I remember the loneliness I felt when trouble and struggles eventually came. I remember well meaning Christian people looking at us as if we were crazy to bring this stress upon ourselves. That culture simply MUST change.  As a church, we have to normalize bringing in children from hard places. We have to train our nursery workers and Sunday School teachers how to love and care for children from trauma. The statistics are not heading in a downhill turn. The numbers rise each year. Please, pause for just a moment and sincerely ask God what part you need to play. If and when He gives you a clear answer that you are to do absolutely nothing ...then I suppose you can truly say "not called."

Are you home bound? Commit to pray.

Are you a pastor? Preach and teach on this and welcome those who are caring for this need.

Are you a student? Befriend a foster child.

Are you a teacher? Be patient and learn all that you can about trauma behaviors.

Are you a parent? Take your wealth of parenting experience and become a foster parent.

You get the idea. We all have a place. When it comes to caring for the most susceptible, the most tender, the most unguarded, doesn't it make sense that we are all called?

Every wound healed. Every child, a home.

Unmasked

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It is our tendency as humans to present what is our "best" side.  Social media has not helped with that. We trash any picture that shows us in an unflattering way. We use filters that add makeup or slim down the face. We can change the light so that it softens the wrinkles. We can honestly filter everything so much that we are barely recognizable.

It seems we all want to appear better than we really are.

But, doesn't that just wear you out?  Aren't you tired of pretending and having to keep up the facade?

I know I am.

Life would be easier if we just simply offered acceptance of each other and along with that...our individual flaws. All of us have flaws. We are all masking something that we think is less than flattering.
Acceptance doesn't mean that we quit urging each other to greater works, healthier living, and flattering attire. What it does say is that we be honest about ourselves. If we are struggling, we say so. If we have gained a few pounds, eh, we don't try to hide behind someone else in the picture.
It is real.
It is honest.
And at times ... a bit raw.

There is truly nothing I have been through in my life that has  revealed more of the true me than becoming a foster/adoptive parent.  I have had to grovel through some painful moments and have had to peer way too deep into my hidden side. You know what I'm talking about...the side that very few see.  The "I'm tired and everyone needs to stay out of my way," side. The side that wants to make it more about me and my needs than the needs of those around me. The side that frankly, I would rather hide. But, stress seems to lead the way to exposure. My crazy begins to become untucked. The darkness sometimes comes into the light...whether you want it to or not.

Ugly.
Impatient.
Dare I say it?
Unloving even.

I value  kindness so much. I love to respond with a cheerful tone and a genuine smile. I want to answer "yes" to as many questions as I can. But, if I'm taking off the mask, then I must confess, I struggle. The real me is sometimes not the image that I want the world to see.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I lost my hair and while it hurt to see myself bald, I was surprised that it didn't bother me more. At home, I went around with nothing covering my naked head.  Everything was uncomfortable. At home, I got to be me and my family loved me just like I was. But, when I went out...well then, I covered it up. I couldn't manage a wig so I wore hats that tried to disguise who I really was at the time.

I think in some ways, that describes our very soul. I'm in pain, hot as fire, and in distress, but let me put on this hat so that you will feel better about me. I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable so I will cover up the hairless dome that is my head. It's not all bad. I mean we don't necessarily want to let the entire world in on our pain, struggles, and bad days. But, being real? I think we all need a lesson or two.

The truth is we all struggle. If this is not a period of turmoil for you, if you are feeling on top of the world and might be tempted to look down on others from your nice, high perch, then beware. Life has a way of evening out that perch. Rain falls on all of us. Perhaps the gut wrenching struggle...when we are so low we can barely lift our heads, perhaps it is in those moments that we are truly teachable.

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We are humble enough to see others through the lens of mercy.

We can allow others to shed their bothersome masks and reveal to us their true selves.

We can love those who might be, at the moment, unlovable.

We were all there at one time or another. Unlovable that is.

I dare say that true love,  is loving especially those that are acting unloving.

Nothing bonds people together more than to be loved fully...while at your worst.


Every wound healed. Every child, a home.