Giving up the crown

Photo by Jared Subia on Unsplash

I don't know what I'm doing.

I feel inadequate.

I'm so irritable.

I goofed up.

I just want to stay in bed.

These are thoughts that probably travel through the mind of any foster mom on any given day and really, parents in general.  If you feel you totally have it together as a mom, then please, I need some lessons.  Parenting is hard when you start from scratch and when you begin your parenting journey with kids at ten and twelve, it sort of feels like you are trying to put together a puzzle.  Except that years ago, two 1,000 piece puzzles fell to the floor at one time and the pieces are all jumbled together.  Yep.  That is how it feels. It can all be sorted out, but it is going to take an awful lot of patience and body cramping poses to get it all done.

So, dear mamas...  Could we all just lay aside any crowns? Fathers who are expecting perfection...could you give yourself a break?   Let's put down any pretense that we have this parenting thing down and let's just be real.  Now, I'm not saying "let's accept our shortcomings and not ever try to improve".  No...I so want to improve!  I'm just tired of pretending I have it all together and would prefer, for a moment, to relax.  I would like to, just for a moment, forgive myself for not being perfect and...well, lay down the crown of perfection.

Photo by Hello I'm Nik on Unsplash

The fact is, to be a good parent, we do NOT have to be perfect.  I'm going to let you in on a secret. 
Studies have shown that if we as parents do the right thing 30% of the time, then we will be considered a successful parent.  That doesn't seem too difficult, right?  I think my odds might even be a little better than that!!

In this little video, it highlights our parental role of caring for our kids.
https://vimeo.com/228134047?from=outro-embed

It ends with this tidbit: "good enough, is, well, good enough!"  We are going to fail from time to time to meet our children's needs and those of us parenting children from hard places know this all too well.  The needs are so great that there is NO WAY to meet them all.  But we continue to get up everyday and do our best.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

We love.
We fail.
We encourage.
We get frustrated.
We hug.
We turn away.

All of it.  But, precious laborers, if we can continue to push ourselves to meet a little bit more of their needs; to respond with kindness MOST of the time today; to say yes to play when our heart was set on watching a show. You get it...we will be fine and so will they.

At Childhelp we have started a new slogan: "Love is all you need."  Now, in reality, we need a little more than just love.  But, it is the beginning of everything we do...love.  If we know how to offer love then we are way up on the scale of good parenting.  Love is most definitely where it all begins.  It is the foundation of everything else.  So, dear friends, relax.  Sweet mama, lay down that crown of perfection.  You are way more than enough...  and good enough is, well....good enough!

Every wound healed.  Every child, a home.