The World's Okayest Mom

I know.  Surely "World's BEST Mom" is what we were looking for. I want to know that I was the absolute best mother my kid could ask for.  But, the truth is- sometimes I was just "okay". Sometimes I might have even slipped past okay into "not so great" and occasionally I would find myself in the arena of "FANtastic".  I'm a mixed bag. Sort of like the quarter machine that holds the little toys inside of an egg.  Sometimes you got a really cool parachute man.  Other times you got a ring that's missing it's stone. Sometimes you just got an empty egg.

Just depends.

Probably the hardest part of mothering is dealing with what sort of "prize" you are shooting down the hatch today, or even this moment.  I can't think of a harder job than managing all of my "eggs" and  trying to keep them all filled with cool toys.  It's just impossible.  There are going to be duds and broken toys...Even for the same quarter spent.

Navigating motherhood is a task we think ought to come so easily.  We think the minute that baby pops out, or we adopt the cute, freckled redhead, that we ought to know exactly what to do. We picture ourselves with the most patient, loving answers...even though the question has been asked 1,000 times.  We envision a beautiful family portrait of kids loving each other and looking adoringly at me...their mother.  Ahh...maybe that happens to some of you.  It might have happened for a moment of my lifetime, but it was fleeting.
We live in a world where those "moments" are quickly put on social media.  Look at my perfect family.  Aren't we cute??  We have no problems...see us on the boat with our hair blowing in the wind? We are so perfect!  We are Instagram perfect!  We are Facebook worthy! Oh believe me, I'm not judging.  I do it myself.  I sift through the best of us to display to the world.  And I particularly choose the photos that hide my extra 40 pounds..or at least 20 of the 40.  Wouldn't want anyone to see THAT!  Yeah...I'll pick that one that gives the illusion that I haven't let myself go.  That's the one I will show to the world.
Sometimes I think it would be easier to stop hiding.  Sometimes it would be easier to just let the world see me shoveling that donut in my mouth.  Sometimes it would be easier to flash the photo of the "family movie"...with everyone sitting on their devices instead of watching and laughing together.  Yeah..that would be loads of fun.  Everyone wants to see that.
So, where are we going with this all too "real" look at motherhood.  My point is this: None of us gets an award for the BEST.  We all fail at times and want to do better.  We all long for the perfect family photo...both to show to the world and just to enjoy.  Perfection just doesn't happen.  You know what we get? 
We get REAL.

The first Mother's day card from Lucas - age 10

Real momma who has worked all day and just doesn't have the energy to play ball...but occasionally plays anyway.

Real kids who argue, stink, and don't clean up after themselves but write sweet, heart warming
messages on mother's day cards.

Real husbands who sometimes stare for hours at the game on TV but occasionally brings a surprise home for his tired wife.

Real life. Not instagram ready, necessarily, but real.
Real love.
Real patience.
Real endurance.
Real laughter.
Real pain.
Give me "real" any day. 

Oh I will still try to find a "presentable" photo of the fam.  One that shows everyone showered, and smiling.  But, maybe I'll slip in a sweet one with a couple of bedheads. 

Maybe I'll take a candid of  all of the table crumbs after a flock of hungry geese have pecked at the dinner table. 

Maybe I'll snap a quick photo of plain ol' me....no make up, woofy hair, sitting across from my love in the morning, drinking coffee, quietly talking. Praying. 

That's when I say...who needs "World's BEST"?  I'm okay with "okayest". 

It's messy.

It's complicated.

It's real life.

And I love it.




Every wound healed.  Every child, a home.