My eyes, My eyes! Reasons we look away

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This has always been a phrase we use in our family when we can't "unsee" something.  MY EYES, MY EYES!!  It is said in good humor...usually after we have seen someone run through in a bath towel or walked in on someone accidentally.   There might be a variation involving "yikes" or OHHH, or some other exclamation of surprise when we are forced to get a glance of something shocking....I produce that sort of response just from my bedhead alone!

There is a great problem that I just can't "unsee".  It is shocking and ugly and I want to shout "MY EYES, MY EYES"!! I've already taken a look now, though.  I turned my head and stared. No turning back. My awareness is forever set.  I cannot look away.  I guess if you have read my blogs before or know me personally, you know this "thing" of which I speak.  Kids.  I can't turn away.  Nope.  Just keep looking.  Watching.  Crying.


I've thought of a few possible reasons we  might choose to  look the other way:


1) We look away because we don't want to know.  Ignorance is truly bliss.  If we don't know that there are thousands of children who enter the foster  system who are victims of horrendous crimes against them, then, well, we don't feel the need to help.  If as pastors and community leaders, we don't mention the problem, then maybe it will go away, or maybe there will be no expectation on us to make a difference.  Let's not mention it.  It makes people feel uncomfortable.  People are over burdened as it is, so let's not make it worse.

2) We look away because we feel helpless.  The problem is so insurmountable, we can't possibly make a difference.  It certainly feels that way sometime.  I guarantee those who work in the foster care field most definitely will feel that way on a daily basis.  It is a helpless feeling to see such great need and to know your time, resources, people, energy, and power to help are all limited.  Why is the turn over so great among case workers who work within the system to help children?  This.  They start out with a desire to help children and after a while, the daily grind of NOT being able to meet their needs wears on their very being and they decide they too have to look away.  Or at least pretend they didn't see.

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3) We look away because we are broken ourselves.  Hurting people, hurt people.  Heard that before?  It's true.   All of us have baggage;  things that we need to work through, forgive...heal.  Those  who have been hurt by others might have a hard time helping someone else heal. We have to work on healing and patching our own wounds so that we will be able to bandage up the wounds of others.  Hard to pour anything out from a vessel full of holes.

4) We look away because we are too busy looking at ourselves.  Oh how I would love to "nice" this up a bit.  I hate pointing out the negatives of our culture and would so prefer to relish in what we are doing RIGHT.  But, for the sake of kids, I'm going to put this out there.  We are a selfie generation.  It is hard to point the camera lens at other things when it is always zoomed at ourselves.  Hard to broaden the scope of what we see as our own family's needs to include others.

Looking into the lens of the camera and choosing to turn it towards those in need takes courage.  Really seeing the real picture and choosing to not look away takes strength.  I am surrounded by
people who have chosen to look.
To stare into the face of children and NOT turn their backs.
To glare back at the insurmountable problem and while, still feeling incredibly overwhelmed, trust that there has to be a way to make a difference.
To look and to care.

Every wound healed. Every child, a home.

Re-writing your story

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I am old enough to remember typing on a typewriter.  Back then, we used whiteout and had to erase or cover up our mistakes and then retype. I can still hear the sound it would make as I would pull the paper up enough to correct the typo, and then the clicking sound as I would wind it back around to begin typing again. Technology has made this process so easy.  Not sure any of our younger people can fully appreciate how easy it is to just make corrections!

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Wouldn't it be nice if we could do life "redo's" just as easily?  Wow...make a horrible choice, hit back arrow, and BAM!  It's gone.  That would be amazing!  But, as we all know, it is not that easy.  My pastor says often that "everybody has a story."  And, we do. We all have a story to tell and our lives are all pages in a book featuring each of us as the main character.  Parts of our "books" are boring, some pages suspenseful, throw in some drama, a love story....we all have the makings of a wonderful story! 

While we all have our own story, much of it has yet to be written.  There is still a lot to be determined about how the rest of the story will go. Many of the children we serve have had an opportunity to rewrite their stories.  I absolutely love hearing my children, who have come from hard places, talk about the possibilities for their future.  There was a time when they didn't see much for their futures.  Bringing them out of an abusive, neglectful home has given them hope!  They now get to see a future that is bright, full of happiness, and possibilities!!

Your story is not fully written either.  Many reading this have probably thought about fostering or adoption at one time or another.  You have dreamed of making a difference in the life of a child. Good news: It's not too late! Fulfilling that dream, re-writing how your story goes as well as how a child's story turns out can still happen.  In fact, it has to happen.

So much depends on our response to this.  It is easy to never look back on the "what could have been" scenarios.  You don't respond, you really don't know what you miss.  But, I see it now from both sides.  I see all of the HUGE blessings I would have missed out on if my husband and I had ignored this call.  I see all of the personal growth and tremendous faith I would not have obtained.  I see all of the giving and unselfish living that my biological kids might not have learned.
I see
hope,
dreams, 
integrity, 
educations,
healthy relationships,
careers,
LIVING,
all happening in the lives of the kids we adopted through foster care and I just shake my head.  How could I have not been witness to this?  How could I not give thanks everyday for the Lord allowing us to be a part of something so much greater than ourselves?

Your story is yours. You can decide what goes on each page. So far your book has pages filled with raising biological kids, taking vacations, watching a new Netflix series, and eating out (oh the eating out!!). This story can absolutely continue with the plot that you have set in place.  Or,  enjoy all of that while changing someone's life.  How will you end your book?  What changes need to be made to the script?

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Oh friends, I implore you, write a new chapter!  

Every wound healed.  Every child, a home.